Is Lack of Confidence Keeping You From The Conversation?
I was working out the other morning talking to a friend about her weekend. She told me how she totally bombed her workouts because she was so anxious and stressed out over an upcoming party.
"Social settings are just not my thing” she said. I immediately connected with EXACTLY what she was saying and in fact I may have panicked just a little for her. The fear of having to converse with other people. It made me realize that we all have experienced at some point the lack of confidence in conversation.
Does any of this sound familiar to you?
"It’s just not my thing."
"I’m no good at it."
"Everyone will judge me and think I’m stupid."
"I have nothing valuable to offer to the conversation."
Whether it's in our careers or our relationships, it often comes down to this...
Do I risk saying something stupid or play it safe and not say anything at all?
It is a struggle for many of us what I like to call the “self confident introvert”. You see, we do well one on one or with people that we know, like and trust but get us in a room full of strangers and the closest fire exit becomes our escape….or maybe the menu becomes so intriguing that you read it to avoid eye contact. Anything to keep us from having to converse.
I revert back to all the things I’m not. I second guess everything that I am. I lose my posture, my confidence, my demeanor. It all gets caught up in what I am not.
My confidence is lost - it paralyzes me and blocks the momentum of my authenticity.
Do me a favor....STOP!
Stop people pleasing. Stop doubting yourself. Stop negative thinking. Stop worrying about failing. Stop criticizing yourself.
All progress starts with making a brave decision. Decide. Make the decision and decide to do things different.
DECIDE TO BE PREPARED
- Only the unprepared get nervous - Peyton Manning
- Have questions ready
- Do your homework…what do you want to know about the other person
- focus more on the other person than yourself
DECIDE TO CHANGE YOUR MINDSET
Most of us struggle with the little voices in our head. Stop telling yourself the lies. Tell the inner witch to be quiet. Stop saying “I can’t” and making excuses.
DECIDE TO PRACTICE
I’ll let you in on a little secret…I don’t just go to the nail salon to pamper myself. Yes, while it is a relaxing and enjoyable treat it is the place that I am able to practice the art of conversation. It’s awesome!! And it works…lol!
Deciding is the difference between held back and fully free, congested and clear, shuffling along and flying.
XO,
Heather
Question: In what ways would your life be different if you lived each day in the confidence?